On the 13th of January, 2014, the former Nigerian President,
Goodluck Ebele Jonathan signed a bill into law prohibiting homosexuality in
Nigeria and a 14-year jail term attached as a penalty to defaulters. There was
a massive celebration among Nigerians who felt the African values and culture
have been protected from foreign invasion once more. Homosexuality is being
regarded as foreign initiative which is totally unacceptable in Nigeria. It is
so difficult to trace the history of homosexuality in Africa but the practice
has already been imbibed in Nigeria and it is so rampant especially among the
youths. Only a few Nigerians openly accept their homosexual orientations in
order not to appear weird or possessed. Everyone is heavily scared of being
castigated, isolated like an Ebola patient or even subjected to a deliverance
session in the church or any other religious gatherings. Gay people in Nigeria
are like rape victims, they hardly come out to narrate their ordeals to avoid
stigma. They rather live in silence all their lives suppressing their pains. I
call them prisoners in a free world. The homosexuality topic is one kind of
discussion I publicly avoid because of the level of insincerity among
Nigerians. The truth in Nigeria is like a crime. A lot of Nigerians lie to
themselves about who they are and then live in that world of lies. It will
shock you to see someone vehemently criticizing homosexuality publicly when he
is guilty of the act in the dark corners of his room.
United States of America's legalization of same-sex marriage
on the 26th of June, 2015 was greeted
with massive criticisms and mockery in Africa with President Robert Mugabe of
Zimbabwe leading the cause. Kudos to him, I like people that take stands and
defend their grounds without fear or favour. Nigerian youths took to the social
media to create memes to show their stands against homosexuality. We are not
different from the Americans that openly celebrated the freedom given to
homosexuals, we are not better than them in any way. They have only decided to leave
the self-prison they have been over time.
Nigerians have successfully followed the issue of
homosexuality blindly because of our hatred for research and the high level of
mediocrity among others. Most of us are victims of hasty generalizations. I
have a couple of questions for ardent critics of homosexuality;
Do you know some of
these homosexuals are victims of biology? How does homosexuality really affect
you personally? Do you know lesbianism is almost a norm among Nigerian ladies?
Do you know how neck-deep Nigerian top men are into homosexuality? Have you
ever gone to the club houses in Nigeria to see the evils of homosexuality practiced under the dark fancy lights?
If you haven't found answers to these few questions, then
never overflog the issue of homosexuality or else you may end up indirectly
hurting someone close to you.
I will like to narrate my personal account on this topic
which is what I am known for. I never knew anything about homosexuality and
deep inside of me I never cared to know. The only word I was familiar with in
my Secondary school days was the word "faggot'' which I blindly joined them
in misusing at first after hearing the derogatory word on American movies and
rap songs. Some 'cream' or let me say exposed guys in my class used the word
and one day out of curiosity I checked the dictionary to find out it was
related to same sex. That was around the year 2003. Innocently, I closed the
dictionary and never gave it a second thought.
When I joined Facebook in the year 2008 during my 3rd year
the University, it took me just a couple of months to know homosexuality was
real. As a growing boy that was excited about connecting with friends on the
social media platform and meeting new people, I took pictures recklessly and Facebook
was the end point. We were all excited about getting the 'likes' and
'comments'. Then, the culture of interaction on Facebook was at the peak
compared to now. My profile picture was a topless picture in which I had a
flash drive around my neck which a lot of people took for a chain. It was just
a normal photo I liked and then I ended up making it my frontal picture which
attracted nice comments. I never knew I was sending signals to a lot of guys on
the outside. In no time I started getting friend requests from males. I
accepted all just to boost the level of fun on Facebook. We all interacted well
and dramatically I started realizing some of them openly wanted an 'EXTRA'.
This was odd to me. I have never hidden my passion for beautiful ladies. I have
a feeling they may cause my downfall one day.
They flooded my Facebook inbox with nice comments about my
looks and body. They went on to propose a private meeting with me. I openly
share all these with my close pals in the hostel and we laughed about it. They
all asked why it was always me they were approaching. I never knew the topless
picture was the problem until I signed up on a travel site, Wayn.com with the
same pictures only for a white gay man to approach me. I got scared. This time
I became inquisitive because the young white man approached me with so much optimism
and assurance about my status. So I asked him how he knew my status when we
started chatting. I was on a covert operation for answers. He told me he
understood the message of the topless picture. My mouth was wide open that day
in surprise. A childish act on my path was resulting into a grave mistake.
Since then, I stopped snapping topless pictures except at the swimming pool
conditions.
Several people approached me as usual. Approaching someone is
as free as sending your resumes and cover letters to an employer. That doesn't
mean you have gotten the job. I ignored many but I was forced to keep three
people to find answers to some questions.
In the year 2011 after my National Youth Service Corps, NYSC
programme, I noticed a former classmate of mine who was a dedicated Muslim was
seriously stalking me. He was an isolated person that rarely associated with
both males and females during my Secondary school days. We all believed he was
weird and this nature earned him massive respect compared to childish students
of my type. I tried chatting with him after getting incessant comments from him
on my several pictures and updates on Facebook. I observed his jokes were so
sexual. In summary, he told me he liked me and knew I was gay because he had
studied me for a long time. I was shocked to the marrow of my bones. This was
someone I thought had a perfect life. I wanted to ask him what happened to him
in the best way that would yield the truth. I adopted a covert means of doing
so by adopting the participant observation method as a Social Scientist. I lied
to him I was gay. This struck an immediate closeness and trust between us. He
shared his journey into homosexuality with me. According to him, he never knew he was gay
until his A ‘Level days when he met some cute guys that were good friends to
him. From there, feelings developed and they started having sex. I was too
irritated to probe further.
What I deduced from his case is that nobody influenced him
into being gay. Several guys are induced into the circle by money. Some engage
in it for better financial and employment opportunities in life because
homosexuality subjectively started as a rich man's disease in Nigeria as it is
widely believed. As for my old school mate, nature cheated him.
His case also reminds me of a young toaster I had on the
BlackBerry Messenger shortly after the Bauchi state post-election crisis in
April, 2011that hit corpers. Then the BBM madness was still very much alive
among Nigerians. After paying a whooping sum of N3, 000 for subscription, the
only thing on your mind will be to add people indiscriminately. Accidentally, I
met this 17-year old boy on a BBM group and we started chatting about music
because I am a big fan of hiphop. Along the line, he started talking about my
looks and then opened up that he liked me. I was shocked. The young boy had a
girlfriend he liked but he wasn't sexually attracted to her. His body called
for his fellow guys. I wept for him, he had a perfect life. He had almost
everything at his disposal to succeed. His father if I could remember was a top
doctor in Nigeria and his mother was an international businessman. He lived in
the Lekki area of Lagos almost all alone due to the busy schedule of his
parents. He invited me severally to come live with him but I laughed it off. He
was extremely rich. Sincerely, I could have married him on the spot if he was a
girl. I later deleted him when events got irritating.
There are many guys out there living in silence. They are all
feeling victimized. They hide their opinions about homosexuality while straight
people bluntly criticize them without knowing their hearts.
The trend is worse in the entertainment industry. It is like
the headquarters of gay people. I had a brief stint acting. Within a short
while, I met a couple of guys. Someone bluntly asked me if I do get attention
from men and I said yes. He told me I should be ready to conform to advances if
I want to achieve big in the movie industry. I told myself I will rather
abandon the dream rather than have a sexual relationship with my fellow man. I can't
even stand being touched by a male. My last acting audition in Lagos gave me
another unforgettable experience. This perfect guy, I mean physically perfect
guy added me on Facebook. He was just too good-looking. He was actively into
modelling. He was a kind of guy girls could rape if he walks aimlessly. The
sight of his pictures started making me feel ugly. Tears ran down my face when
he asked me out on Facebook. I was like devil; you are indeed who they say you
are. Look at what you have afflicted this beautiful life with.
He pestered me so much that I was forced to block him. As
fate would have it, we auditioned together in Lagos in August, 2013 for a
failed cinema movie. All his antics vehemently irritated me. At a point I had
to warn him. It was that day I realized I was too far from being gay.
My friend's elder brother who desperately nursed the dream of
modelling was frustrated out of his career by popular figures in Nigeria who
are very prominent in the entertainment industry. I felt for him, for years he
was left devastated. Modelling was like all he lived for. His entire world was
surrounded by modelling. He lived it. I watched him hit the gym in the morning
and evening. I saw him nurse and overcome the pains of muscle strains every day.
He had special soaps for the different parts of the body, he had his special
food, special cream and he avoided the sun. He was from a humble background and
this made the modelling demands more expensive for him. He kept going to Lagos
with his parents having expectant hearts. They supported him with their dry
pockets. Finally, he got close to a billboard project for a telecommunication
giant in Nigeria. At the tail end of the agreement when he had finally called
his family to share the news of the impending breakthrough and the immense
benefits with them, some certain gay top officials wanted to have sex with him.
It was a close shave for this young man. He got increasingly
frustrated and had to return to Ibadan with the little funds he had left. He
was disoriented for years and had to choose a new career later in life.
If you feel the percentage of gay people is so minute in Nigeria,
then visit club houses. I was once invited to a club party in Ibadan. It was an
all night affair. I had to attend to honour a good friend as it was more of a
birthday party for June babies. It was a popular club house whose name I will
not mention. It was almost a taboo for you to dance with the opposite sex at
the club. For the first time in my life I noticed the ladies were divided into
two classes. Some ladies dressed so feminine while others had masculine
appearances. These ones dressed like males, had the walking steps of males,
imitated our voice tones and had our hair styles. This class policed the
females around while the female class showed so much loyalty and respect. On an
occasion I saw a lesbian couple kissing and I almost vomited. I had to leave
the scene.
The males had their class too. The males dressed like females
in skin tight wears and they were good dancers that could light up a dead
crowd. The ladies loved the gay guys and felt so comfortable with them. That
night was like the end of the world to me. I tried approaching one beautiful
lady on the dance floor. I always have this confidence that I have what it
takes to blow a lady's mind. For the first time in my life, I was almost on my
knees begging for her phone number but she was too adamant on not giving it to
me. Not too long, I saw a frowning lady at one corner looking at us. She
swiftly told me to leave that her 'boyfriend' wasn't happy.
I lamented bitterly and swore to myself never to step into a
club house again.
It will also shock my readers that the percentage of lesbians
in Nigeria will be three times the number of gay men in the country. Out of
every 10 girls, 4 very cute ones always end up being partial (bisexual) or
acute lesbians. Several ladies are not really lesbians but they see nothing bad
in engaging in the act. In a simple language, they are much very open to
lesbianism. The major problem is that most of them hardly open up. It takes a
height of intensive talk for her to confide in you. Most of these girls kiss
their fellow girls in the girls' hostels, they smooch each other either
seriously or painful and also finger themselves. It’s no news to me when ladies
share their lesbian gist with me. It was only in the past that we believed
close female friends were mere friends indeed. Today, the closeness has been
cemented on sexual grounds.
The point I am trying to make here is that homosexuality is
too pronounced in Nigeria and the supposed criticisms of America's legalization
of same-sex marriage in Nigeria rinks of acute hypocrisy. A lot of Nigerians
are not speaking the truth.
Nigerians shouldn't look at the Americans with imploring
eyes. Over here we perpetrate more evil that could bring the wrath of God on a
whole nation. How does Sodomy directly affect you in a society? Any response
you give will likely be selfish and subjective. I am not supporting homosexuality
in any way but I just feel the issue has been over-flogged with undue attention
given to it. We forbid it openly while a lot of us practice it secretly.
Nigeria has recorded far worse cases like the late Clifford
Orji who was eating human beings, we have heard of baby factories in the
eastern part of Nigeria. What about the kidnappers' den in Ibadan called Soka
and others in Ogun state where human parts are sold for rituals like butchers
in the abattoir? What about the menace of Boko Haram which claims the lives of
hundreds of innocent individuals? About 1.4 million people are currently
internally displaced in Nigeria without adequate food in the north-east.
Despite the level of poverty in Borno state, Governor Kasshim Shettima is
rumoured to be spending a whooping sums of N10 million daily on the Ramadan
breakfast with some elites in the state. In conclusion, we have too much on our
plate than to be poke-nosing in the affairs of a made country like United
States of America.
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