Online dating is an act I have always subscribed to
even though its like a good platform for just fun alone. The best you mostly get
out of an online date is just a couple of exciting moments that end as fast as
it happened. I always tell myself I will never flirt online but circumstances have a way of pushing me into it.It happens to everyone mostly like this; after sitting
behind a computer screen working for several hours, you will be prompted to
check out one beautiful girl on your Facebook page, Blackberry Messenger list
or Whatsapp for a heart-cooling chat. You may not have any major intentions at
first but as the chat gets intensive, you could be tempted to spice it up with
a feeling of romance.
Several guys love to deceive themselves by keeping several
females around them as friends. Doing that is like indirectly abusing the word
''friendship''. Its almost impossible to be friends with a lady you share
nothing in common with. At least, there should a dominant connection that will
keep both of you going. This may range from work connections, school, church or
locational ties etc. Once all these are absent, then you are suppressing a feeling
that should be expressed, something like a mild self-torture. Mere friendship with the opposite sex is like
nurturing a chicken from its chick growth stage to full maturity. Your act of
feeding the chicken doesn't mean you love the chicken. You are only feeding it
for a purpose which is to kill it for a delicacy on a set day.
Guys love to nurse fake friendships with females, but if you
want to confirm their suppressed intentions, ask them for sex and see if the
animal in them wouldn't be unleashed. Well, enough of my deviation. My major
motivation of writing is to share one awful date experience I had with an
online date.
I was just on the BlackBerry Messenger, BBM one night after a hard
day at work trying to get my anticipated night rest. As I fiddled with my
phone, I saw a post being made on one of the BBM channels I subscribed to stating
that guys and ladies ready to mingle should send their details and a picture to
an email address. I couldn't resist the temptation and since it wouldn't cost a
thing I sent the requirements to the email. The following day my phone was
almost switched off throughout due to power issues paramount in my country.
When I finally charged it, I got over 30 pin requests on my BBM. At first I was
so scared, I thought I was holding the wrong phone. In a few minutes, I
remembered the application I made to the BBM channel. I noticed more of guys
added me with a few ladies. That was strange to me. Getting attention from guys
is not new to me anyway but I have emphatically stated severally that I am
'straighter' than a ruler. For business purposes I added them all but later
deleted almost all the contacts leaving about two ladies behind. I couldn't
stand seeing guys ask me out and strange ladies on my BBM list.
Out of the two ladies, I had a soft spot for one who was
quite cute in pictures. She was well endowed and spoke good English. My heart
melted when I heard she was from Edo state just like me. Since I dated an Edo
lady during my NYSC days in 2011, I felt like dating another one because of the
level of sincerity my ex had.
My mom wants me to
marry an Edo lady but she isn't strongly bent on that. She talked nice and in
no time we became cool friends. We both claimed to have empty love lives. I was
sincere but I had a feeling she wasn't. I always find it hard to trust people a
times. One thing led to another and the atmosphere became romantic. My only
concern was the fact that her pictures were all doctored with picture editing
applications on Android phones. This is only common among ladies that have
trust issues with their beauty. Majority
of her pictures were head-shots showing she was hiding something.
One point of attraction was that she was so open-minded. We
discussed secret issues like we have known each other for years. She was so
lively and excited about me. She was eager to see me. It gave me a feeling of
being attractive and handsome. I had issues seeing her because I was broke. My
former boss actually delayed the payment of my salary. I had an idea of meeting
her in grand style for the purpose of creating a first impression that will
last long. She kept pestering me over time.
In no time I started feeling guilty and embarrassed. In the
middle of the one night, I woke up to get a message from her in capital letters
expressing the harsh tone of the text. She desperately wanted us to meet. I was pushed to the wall. I had to fix
an appointment with her with less than a thousand Naira ,N1,000, on me. I felt so
uncomfortable with that but I wanted to fulfill her wish.
It was a Saturday,I had to sign off work earlier than
scheduled after calling her. I got on a bike heading home to prepare for her coming. Surprisingly, she called to tell me she was at the junction of my house
when I was still afar off. It was sunny, I sensed the discomfort she would have
been subjected to. Immediately I got home, I told my mom I was expecting a
female guest. She just smiled, I was amazed because she doesn't support me
coming home with ladies.
A bit of surprise awaited me. I saw her across the road
looking like she was older than me. She was quite brief in height, with very
fat legs. She wasn't really what I was anticipating to see from the pictures.
Her hair was untidy and my dressing was quite below par. The disappointment got
me looking up to her heart as a compensation for the physical pitfalls. As I
walked with her to my house, neighbours praised me with sign languages considering the
massive backside she had. I quietly engaged her in a short gist as I took her
to my ghetto house. She looked at the old building with imploring eyes. She
started becoming obviously uncomfortable. I wonder why most ladies always have
high hopes when they see my pictures on the internet. She entered the sitting
room of my house with the same strange look. She rejected all my offers on refreshments.
She finally decided to take just water. I knew I was failing. I engaged her
with some gist about myself just to cover up for my flops. I ended up saying
too personal things. Deep inside of me, I had the feeling that I was making her
day. I never knew I was boring her. My friends have always warned me against
engaging ladies in long gist. She later interrupted me. She went down memory
lane, accusing me showing pride in dealing which her which I refuted. She
boldly said I talk TOO MUCH. She emphasized on the length of my speech. She
started schooling me on how to chat with a lady. I bitterly played the role of
a calm student as I licked my fresh wounds. I was obviously embarrassed but kept my
cool. As tension subsided, I tried spicing up the mood with a kiss. We had
discussions that surpassed that level of romance online. She resisted
immediately and left me with a mild warning. I made no further attempts.
In no time, the bold and lively me became cold. She gathered
so much confidence and started blabbing. I pretended everything was fine with the
slim hope of reviving my flow. My breaking point was reached when she started
yawning incessantly and staring at the wall clock in my sitting room. I didn't hide my feelings. I
asked her if she wanted to go. She sharply said yes. I am sure she was expecting me to
plead with her to stay, I wore a pair of slippers and saw her off to the
junction of the road. We never exchanged a single word. I sorted her transport fare
and waved to her as she zoomed off.
From that point, things became dry and dead between us. She
accused me of boring her with my long talks. She accused me of betraying the
values I write about and many other obnoxious accusations.
I shared the whole saga with my friends. They all gave
conflicting accounts of the source of the problem. One of my friends said I
would have grabbed her instead of the long talks, he said she wanted sex
indirectly. That would have been so stupid of me. I am too civil and cultured
for such a move.
Additionally, my mom disliked her by appearance and she
didn't even consider a change of mind when I told her she is from Edo state.
She was like; ''I wonder why you and your sister don't have a good taste of
lovers. The disparity between both of you is too obvious'' I was shocked.
I expected all old people to look at the heart and not the
physical attributes like we young folks but my mom just did that.
I still ponder over what went wrong till date but I am over
it. I am not good at fighting for a lady's heart. It is a bad part of me I wish
I could change.
I will welcome comments on what I did wrong.
Could it be my fault
or hers? Any advice against a future occurrence of the event?
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